


Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud

by NatalieRyan



Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Day 11, Gen, Jack Angst, Mention of torture, Psych 101, Scar reveal, Whump, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: It was the scar that ran from the top of Jack's left cheek in a bow up to his chin and ending in the general direction of his throat. It was deep and although the skin looked healed, the pink hue surrounding the scar tissue told Mac it was a recent scar.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SabbyStarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabbyStarlight/gifts), [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts), [CommanderBunnBunn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderBunnBunn/gifts).



> Welcome to yet another story in the pile of “Jack comes back from the Kovacs mission” stories. I think I should start a series for those stories (I’ve written quite a few, I’ll have to track them all down). And it should be a challenge in and on itself for me: How many stories can Nade write where Jack comes back?  
> A while back, I had a talk with SabbyStarlight, and it was mostly about the ‘stache Nick had for a few episodes in season 6 on CSI. And she mentioned, what if the moustache hid a scar, hypothetically… and you know my brain likes to go in overdrive so I came up with this idea.   
> For a couple of months this idea sat in my folder until I started planning for Whumptober and decided that if a prompt fits, I will definitely write it. And I did.   
> Thanks to Thistle that helped me to further develop the plot, and the reason behind Jack’s actions + how he got the scar. And for the beta. You are of great help my friend.   
> Special thanks to CommanderBunnBunn that let me use her headcanon about Jack in the ‘90s I have it referenced through Mac remembering what Jack told him. It just had to be written since it came up during the fic, and I’m glad she gave me the green light.   
> Thank you Sabrina for the title suggestion. Just the right vibe and it fits with my theme. Whoops.   
> And of course, last but not least, in my head and heart, Jack leaving is James’ fault and whenever I get the chance to write that in a fic? I’m gonna take it.   
> Enjoy!

Mac was humming a song he heard on the radio on his way over to Jack's apartment. He woke up earlier than his usual time and he felt like he should go and buy breakfast for both him and Jack. They didn't have anywhere to be today, but Mac was restless and he thought that if he called Jack to hang out for the day, it would sound like Mac was too clingy. 

And Mac didn't know why he thought Jack would be bothered by that, so he just went along with his plan. He got them breakfast bagels and drove to Jack's place. 

Jack was usually up by sunrise, years of being in this line of work had let him with a biological clock that almost never let him sleep in, not even on his days off. And Jack wasn't usually a morning person despite how cheerful he always sounded in the morning. 

Mac counted on that when he decided to come over. 

He let himself inside with his key and placed the bag with pastries on the counter. He shed his jacket and took a good look at the place. He actually came to Jack's apartment, and  _ often _ , while Jack was away on the Kovacs mission. He drew comfort from the place, and Jack's things. His prized Bruce Willis movies collection, the Telly Savalas painting (that they actually managed to return a second time when Dawn felt bad for actually robbing Jack and how he took it all). The little details of the place that were ornate and so Jack, Mac felt like he was home. 

Mac always wondered why Jack kept the place so tidy and with as little possessions as possible, and once Jack told him why, Mac felt really lucky that at least he owned the house he lived in, and that he didn't have to pay a mortgage. Jack actually had a pretty shit life post his first tour, and Mac shuddered at the thought of someone you trusted to do what Jack's girlfriend at the time did to him. 

And Mac didn't want to think how the Dawn situation must have affected Jack, when on top of his car being repo'd back before Jack was overseas, his girlfriend stole some things Mac was sure Jack never got over it. And it taught Jack that he shouldn't get attached to things. So he pretty much had the things he liked the most in one place, while with Mac, it had always been a clutter.

Trying to understand how he'd feel if he was Jack's age in the '90s, fresh out of his first tour, PTSD baggage weighing on his shoulders, left with nothing, and trying to navigate life. And then other things happened and here they were. 

Mac brought himself back to reality by the fact that Jack wasn't anywhere to be found. Usually when Mac came around, Jack was always somewhere close that he immediately emerged. 

Mac heard the water running in the bathroom, but it was the sink water rather than the shower, so that meant Jack was there. 

Mac decided to announce himself, he wouldn't want to give Jack a heart attack.

Mac knocked on the bathroom door. 

“Hey, Jack.”

The tap was closed and Mac heard some shuffling. 

“Hey, Mac.”

“You decent?” 

Mac could hear Jack chuckle and then he came closer to the door. 

Jack opened the bathroom door and emerged, wearing only a tank top and his boxers. He smiled at Mac and Mac forgot what he was going to say next, because Jack had shaved his beard. And that wasn't the biggest surprise, Jack  _ rarely _ grew a beard, he was more of a stubble kind of guy, occasionally clean shaven (and there was something about Jack's twin, ooops,  _ cousin _ , Nick, with a beard that ruined Mac on his view about beards in the entirety of things). 

It was the scar that ran from the top of Jack's left cheek in a bow up to his chin and ending in the general direction of his throat. It was deep and although the skin looked healed, the pink hue surrounding the scar tissue told Mac it was a recent scar. 

He tried to recover without Jack seeing him while Mac stared. 

Mac expertly turned away and walked towards the living room. 

“I, uh, got us breakfast. Thought we could spend some time together and…” 

Mac felt Jack's hand coming around his elbow and Jack turned him around. There was no way for Mac to look anywhere else than at Jack, and he tried, but it wasn't easy. His eyes just went back to the scar. 

“Jack… What-?”

“Hoss, I can see you thinking.” 

Mac looked down at his hands, and then, he immediately looked up. He didn't want Jack to think that he was weirded out by the scar, or that he was unable to look Jack in his face. 

“I'm sorry, kid. I should have probably told you about this.” 

“You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to.”

Jack smiled sadly and Mac realized there was probably more to the story. Mac's brain was coming up with scenarios that didn't make any sense. 

“You know, the thing is, I forgot about it. Like, honestly, if I don't see it, I forget it exists.” 

“Is that the reason why you kept a beard for so long?”

“I guess? I don't know.” 

Jack sighed and Mac realized they were standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. 

“Hey, wanna move this to the couch? I'm not as young as I used to be. My legs hurt if I stand too much.” 

Jack barked out a laugh at the comment and Mac was glad he made Jack laugh. 

“Just let me grab some pants, and I'll join you.” 

“I'll go and get our breakfast sorted.” 

…

Jack spent too long deciding between the gray sweatpants or the navy blue ones. He stared at his opened closet and didn't know, scratch that, he did know, why he was lost in thought. 

And he was honest with Mac, he did forget about the scar. Only if it was possible to not remember how exactly he got it… 

Jack knew that sooner or later he would have to tell Mac. Not that Mac expected Jack to tell him like everything, but Jack was always honest with him and always tried to tell Mac to be honest with him in turn. Not hide injuries, when Jack in turn broke his own rule. 

(Not that he was consciously hiding it.) 

Jack chose the grey sweatpants at last and put them on, the fabric pulling at some skin on his thighs where there were new scars as well. One of these days he was going to strip in front of Mac and tell him about those as well. He was way past feeling awkward with Mac, they had seen each other in various states of undress throughout the years, and Jack wasn't ashamed of how he looked. And Mac was the one to judge him in the least because he had scars of his own. It was the way Jack got those scars, especially the one on his face, that had him feeling so out of depth, he was ready to puke. 

Jack took a deep breath and then headed back to the living room. Glad that Mac already started on his bagels, Jack joined him. He was grateful that he didn't have to talk while they ate, although Jack gave up after one bagel while Mac polished off all of his. Jack felt that if he was going to eat more, he was going to puke for sure. 

“So, I haven't exactly told you about… how we got Kovacs.” 

“I read the redacted file, but it wasn't wordy.” Mac replied. 

Jack knew exactly how the unredacted version looked like because the brass asked him to describe everything in detail and why he made the decision that ultimately led to Kovacs' capture. It was gruelling and Jack didn't want to remember the whole debrief that lasted for days. 

“Jack? You okay?” 

Jack looked up at that, and he realized that he had his right hand closed in a fist and he relaxed it, moving his fingers to return the blood flow into them. 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.” 

But the thing was, he wasn't fine, not by a long shot. And Mac seemed to know that.

For a while there, Jack thought that they lost their touch, that Mac would move on, forget about whatever it was that connected him with Jack. Jack was the one that left him, and going to a mission he wasn't sure he was going to come back from, Mac probably felt betrayed. It wasn't until Jack came home from the mission, and held Mac in a crushing hug that Jack realized nothing changed between them. 

Mac also admitted to Jack that he had Riley hack the file on the Kovacs mission and that he learned it was his father that ordered the mission and handpicked Jack for it. Mac also told him that after cornering his father about it, James didn't deny it and what James didn't say, Mac's brain connected the dots and compiled the version that was likely the truth. 

And after Jack reluctantly admitted to him that yes, Mac was right, the confidential file be damned, Mac hugged him and told him that in his eyes, Jack did the right thing. And that Mac was proud of him. 

Jack didn't know if he deserved Mac being proud of him after what he did to get Kovacs to get out of hiding.

But, in the grand scheme of things, it was worth it. He survived and was there to tell the story. 

“Jack, I told you, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

“I want to. Before you hear it from someone else. I don't want you learning about what happened from a report…” 

Jack knew that he wasn't exactly being subtle about where he thought Mac could learn about it from. 

“I, there's something you don't know about how Kovacs was captured.”

Mac didn't say anything, but Jack could see the questions in his eyes. 

Jack gulped, trying to reign in his emotions, but not succeeding. A tear escaped and ran down his cheek. 

"You more than anyone knows what I've been through. And even before you, there were bad missions. Things going sideways. But this time... he tortured me, Mac. He did things to me. It messed me up. It's the reason why I hesitated before I came back home." 

"Oh, Jack." 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Jack didn't know if he was going to be able to hold on to his tears for longer when he felt Mac move on the couch and suddenly he was enveloped into a hug. Jack was so used to being the one that normally dished out the comfort that he sometimes forgot he needed it too. 

Jack blinked up the moisture from his eyes, wondering where he did go right to get Mac as his partner, best friend, the person that understood Jack the best despite their different personalities and age gap. 

“I'm sorry that you had to go through that.” 

Jack tightened his arms around Mac and relaxed in the hug. He somehow found it easier to talk while not looking at Mac directly. He couldn't trust himself not breaking down before he got it all out. 

“We had a plan. Actually,  _ I _ had a plan. We were close to capturing Kovacs, we had his pattern figured out, and set up camp. The only thing missing was the fact that he wasn't coming out of hiding.” 

“You set up bait.” Mac mumbled against Jack's shoulder. 

Jack smiled. Leave it to his partner to figure out what Jack's plan was. 

“Yep. We set up a bait.” Jack took a deep breath. “I was the bait.” 

Mac suddenly pulled out from the hug and faced Jack. 

“You did what?” 

“I had a reason. Multiple reasons.”

Jack also knew that when he opened this specific can of worms, that he would have to face his fears, and what led to his decision. Jack wasn't sure what would hurt more, to rip off the bandaid now, or to wait and then tell Mac the why. 

“Jack.” 

“He… he threatened me. Personally. He contacted me through an email I had back while I was still in the CIA. He sent me the files on each and every one of you. You, Riley, Boze, Matty. He even had the file on Desi. It was a safe bet that he would only show his face if I played it off of him. I was so tired at that moment… I wasn't thinking straight.” 

“That… I hate that you had to go through that, Jack.” 

Jack could tell Mac was getting emotional real fast. 

“My plan was to get him out in the open, and then we were going to snatch him. Get it over with. But he got the drop on us, and he took me. He tortured me for days, personally.” 

Jack took a deep breath and touched his scar.

“He said that he dreamed about 'fucking me up' for years. Said that he was going to return the favor. Turns out my bullet didn't hit where it was supposed to but somehow ended up in his cheek? Anyway, he… he said that he didn't want to risk me actually dying from a gunshot wound, so the next best thing for him was to pull his knife out.

“He had two of his men hold me down as he cut through the skin the way he liked it.” 

There was a gasp and Mac covered his mouth with both hands. 

“They found me soon after, got him into custody and I was transferred to a hospital where they lost me on the table once.”

“You actually died?” Mac squeaked, and the sound was so loud in Jack's ears that he jerked in response. 

“Sorry. I'm so sorry. I never… never could imagine this happening. Oh Jack.” 

“Yeah, me neither, hoss. Me neither.” 

“What happened after? Because I saw a huge gap in the report after Kovacs was arrested and you coming back home.” 

“So damn perceptive…” Jack muttered, but it was said without a bite in his words. 

“Clearly something happened.” 

“I had to undergo several skin grafts to get this to the way it looks now. It was so bad at first, they were worried it was going to get infected. After I pulled through, they proposed that I wait for it to heal and try cosmetic surgery, or try the grafts. And you know me, hoss, I ain't lettin' no doctor to cut up my face for that.

“It was a painful and long process. And I didn't wanna do it alone. I've been meaning to call you, but I didn't know what your old man was gonna say about that so I bailed. That and… I had no idea if I still had a home with y'all.” 

“You'll always have a home with us, Jack. You don't have to think about it twice. Always.” 

“I know that now. But after how I left things off… I wasn't sure I was welcome. And that fucked me up more than the scar itself.” 

“I wish you would have called me.” 

“Me too.”

Jack felt like there was something else that he needed to say, but didn't know how to form it, or what exactly was on his mind. 

“You know the scar doesn't bother me, right?”

“Of course I do.” 

“I'm sorry for earlier. It just caught me off guard, I guess.”

“It's okay, Mac. Completely a normal reaction. I won't hold it over your head. It's okay.” 

“I'm glad that you are alive. And that you came back to us. Back to me.” 

“I'm glad I'm back, too, hoss.” 

This time the hug was gentler and Jack let himself melt in it. He was home, to the place where he belonged. He was grateful he got to go home. At the end of the day seeing his family and saving the world were worth it coming back home for. 

“Thank you for telling me, Jack. I know it wasn't easy for you.” 

“Yeah… I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to talk about it, but once I started talking, I had to get it out. Thank you for listening.” 

“Always.” 

They sat in a comfortable silence. It was all they needed for the moment, both trying to come to terms with feelings and revelations. But they had nowhere else to be. They were home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
